What brings out the worst in human beings?
The answer is fear.
We live in a climate of fear in our nation. Every time we turn on the news, we see the worst playing out in front of us. Political division. Violent protests. Terrorism. Not only that, social media and other public forums are becoming an increasingly toxic place in which to attempt to address these issues. Though some voices are calling us to accept and understand one another, they are often drowned out by self-appointed judges who punish those who dare to express a different opinion with verbal attacks and ridicule. Fear of being targeted by these firing squads causes many to withdraw from speaking their minds when it comes to controversial issues, even if their input is valid and inspiring. The worst isn’t just coming out in our “macro” social problems; it’s coming out every day in our conversations—and it’s all driven by fear.
More than ever, we need to grow in relational intelligence—to develop the attitudes and behaviours that create a safe place for people to be themselves and connect with one another. The central truth of relational intelligence is this:
Fear drives us away from people. Love drives us toward people. Continue reading “What brings out the worst in human beings?”
Fear Is Your Enemy
While God is not afraid of sin or sinners, most of us are. We’re afraid of people’s mistakes, and we’re afraid of our own. It’s no wonder our entire society, including our court system, is set up in such a way that fear and punishment are the solutions to bad behaviour. And as long as we operate out of fear, we will inevitably continue to reproduce distance and disconnection in our relationships with God, others, and ourselves. The cycle can only be broken by repenting from the lie that we can control other people and by accepting the truth that the must control ourselves.
As soon as you begin to believe this truth and stop trying to control people, you’re going to be confronted with a lot of resistance from the old normal. And it won’t give way to Heaven’s normal without a fight. Continue reading “Fear Is Your Enemy”