The union of a man and a woman is unique and different from any other. Just as the union of a man and a man or a woman and a woman is also unique and different. Neither of these are the same. Similarly with transgender unions they are unique and different. By the very nature and desire or design of the people these relationships are necessarily different. In these ‘alternate’ relationships there has been a choice exercised. Based on desire or design (as some assert) some people choose to ‘live out’ that difference – in fact the difference is celebrated.
The journey of ‘identity’ is a struggle for all humanity. For some the roots of that are ‘nature’ for others ‘nurture’ or any combination of both. But identity is not only defined by sexuality – there is so much more that defines us.For some our identity comes from inside us, for others like me it comes from outside me, from a designer a creator. Some would find that unlikely but for me that is a point of rejoicing, because my identity struggle is over. There is no question about my designer, my design or its purpose.
This too is a point of difference from others who by choice seek to find their own design and design purpose. I’d suggest that those who choose the latter elect to be different. I would suggest that we are not equal in the sense we are not the same.
To demand that all things be the same – when they are clearly not seems to me to be counter-intuitive and flies in the face of the very thing that supporters of same sex marriage are trying to achieve through ‘marriage equality’. Our unions are not equal in that they are made up differently. Could there be equal or even greater affection between same gender or transgender relationship – without a doubt? But the unions are not equal , not the same by choice. By actively pursuing a particular identity and expression of it difference has been created.
It seems, as I have suggested to be counter-intuitive, for those living in same or differently gendered relationships, to say I want equality with those live in man+woman relationships.
Marriage – the public and legal recognition of a committed couple is the stated goal. Yet that is an inadequate definition of marriage. Marriage for me is more than the public and legal recognition of a man and a woman’s relationship. It is a unique covenant made before my creator in whose image we are made – male and female. It is this creator who, now not only defines my identity, but, who now informs every aspect of my living in union with my wife. Marriage for me is very specific and sacred.
Let ‘ marriage’ remain what it is, as stated in the Marriage Act 2004 and in ‘The Declaration of Purpose’ in the ‘Rites of Marriage in the Uniting Church in Australia’. (see below)
It seems to me that the desire for ‘marriage equality’ is contradictory to the choices made by those who live in same or transgender relationships. Respectively I suggest that it be far more appropriate that these groups choose a different form of public and legal recognition and in so doing respect our differences.
Mark Dewar Minister – Cassowary Coast Uniting Church.
Declaration of Purpose – Uniting in Worship 2
Marriage is a gift of God and a means of grace. In the life-long union of marriage we can know the joy of God, in whose image we are made, male and female.
Marriage is founded in God’s loving nature, and in the covenant of love made with us in Christ. Husband and wife, in giving themselves to each other in love,reflect the love of Christ for his Church.
In Christian marriage, wife and husband are called to live together faithfully, and to love each other with respect, tenderness and delight.The companionship and comfort of marriage enables the full expression of physical love between husband and wife. They share the life of a home and may be entrusted with the gift and care of children.
They help to shape a society in which human dignity and happiness may flourish and abound. Marriage is a way of life that all people should honour it is not to be entered into lightly or selfishly, but responsibly and in the love of God.
N and N are now to begin this way of life that God has created and Christ has blessed. Therefore, on this their wedding day, we pray that they may fulfil God’s purpose for the whole of their lives.