The union of a man and a woman is unique and different from any other. Just as the union of a man and a man or a woman and a woman is also unique and different. Neither of these are the same. Similarly with transgender unions they are unique and different. By the very nature and desire or design of the people these relationships are necessarily different. In these ‘alternate’ relationships there has been a choice exercised. Based on desire or design (as some assert)  some people choose to ‘live out’ that difference – in fact the difference is celebrated.

The journey of ‘identity’ is a struggle for all humanity. For some the roots of that are ‘nature’ for others ‘nurture’ or any combination of both. But identity is not only defined by sexuality – there is so much more that defines us.For some our identity comes from inside us, for others like me it comes from outside me, from a designer a creator.  Some would find that unlikely but for me that is a point of rejoicing, because my identity struggle is over. There is no question about my designer, my design or its purpose.

This too is a point of difference from others who by choice seek to find their own design and design purpose. I’d suggest that those who choose the latter elect to be different. I would suggest that we are not equal in the sense we are not the same.

To demand that all things be the same – when they are clearly not seems to me to be counter-intuitive and flies  in the face of the very thing that supporters of same sex marriage are trying to achieve through ‘marriage equality’. Our unions are not equal in that they are made up differently. Could there be equal or even greater affection between same gender or transgender relationship – without a doubt? But the unions are not equal , not the same by choice. By actively pursuing a particular identity and expression of it  difference has been created. Continue reading “On Marriage and identity -thoughts on marriage equality”